Burnsies

In late 2020, our dear, young, and exuberant Burns launched the 2021 Challenge.  Each participant was to complete by year’s end of 2021: 20210 Merkins, 20210 Squats, 20210 WWIIs, and 10105 Burpees.  The PAX started strong, flying out of the gates.  For the first few months, many of us were ahead of the daily pace, easily coasting towards the goal.  Then one by one, the stumbling began.  Anyway, in the hopes of allowing a little catch up, YHC chose to create a beatdown consisting of all (or mostly) Burnsies.  What’s a Burnsy, you ask?  It’s a 4-part exercise – one Squat, followed by one Burpee, followed by one WWII, followed by one Merkin.  That’s one rep.  Simple.  Right?

 

Warmaramamamamamama.

Some stupid time-wasting BS as usual.  Nobody cares.  If you are concerned about being warmed up, do it before the workout starts.  The beatdowns are already too short and nobody wants to waste any of the precious minutes holding a pose named after an actor who would be a centenarian this year.  That’s for Silver Sneakers and I’m sure those classes have availability at the local rec centers.

 

Setup: 4 cones spaced out about 25 yards apart in a straight line in the parking lot.

Equipment: A hard working attitude, one cinder block.

 

The Beatdown

 

We started off by doing a normal SHUTTLE RUN between the cones with 5 BURNSIES at each one.  For the non-math majors out there, that’s 7 different stops, totaling 35 BURNSIES.  Oh yeah, we carried cinder blocks with us to minimize the running.

 

Because that idea was so popular, we did it again.  But this time there was a twist.  We picked (read I chose) a pacer.  For each member of the PAX who finished ahead of the pacer, he was exempt from the penalty.  Each one who finished behind the pacer suffered the penalty.  But to make the competition a bit more “fair”, each PAX performed a different number of BURNSIES based on his previous finishing order.

 

Sea-Man was a solid pacer.  Sour Mash did whatever he felt like (more on that later).  60 Minutes flew through the exercises (might need a proctor next time).  And because karma is a bitch, Zima finished DFL by a long shot.  #PenaltyTime  Since Sea-Man is a true warrior, he joined Zima in the 10 BLOCKEE penalty.

 

Since we were running out of time, we did a 50%, 75%, and AYG SPRINT.

 

We finished with a few simple Mary exercises: Straight Leg Crunches, Freddie Mercuries, Heels to Heaven, Pickle Pounders

 

DONE.

 

Dangerous Thoughts from the Q’s Head:

• Because there was so much whining as we kicked off the beatdown this morning, YHC threw in some of the old favorite, Imperial Storm Troopers.
• Sour Mash’s workouts and secret to marriage parallel each other: He does whatever he wants.  (Editor’s note: I am not qualified enough to provide a witty response to that.)
• Nobody seemed injured, yet there were too many modifications.  I’m confused.  Note the statement, “Modify as necessary.”  It doesn’t say to modify the exercise because you don’t want to do it or think it would be easier another way.

 

Announcements:

• greeNest on Saturday.  Need more trucks and more hands.
• Sour Mash will be in Kentucky hunting bourbon this weekend.

 

Prayers:

• None spoken out loud.

 

60 Minutes took us out

 

Zima out.